What is God Like? A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her Class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: God is like... BAYER ASPIRIN He works miracles. God is like... a FORD He's got a better idea. God is like... COKE He's the real thing. God is like... HALLMARK CARDS He cares enough to send His very best. God is like... TIDE He gets the stains out that others leave behind. God is like... GENERAL ELECTRIC He brings good things to life. God is like... SEARS He has everything. God is like... ALKA-SELTZER Try him, you'll like Him. God is like... SCOTCH TAPE You can't see him, but you know He's there. God is like... DELTA He's ready when you are. God is like... ALLSTATE You're in good hands with God. God is like... VO-5 Hair Spray He holds through all kinds of weather. God is like... DIAL SOAP Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did? God is like... the U.S. POST OFFICE Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
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Kids in Church 3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in
heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."  A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you
can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good
time like I am."
A. Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take
the covers off the neighbor's wife."
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what
was wrong. Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher
said he wanted us
brought up in a
Christian home, and
I wanted to stay
with you guys."
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
each word right up to the
end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation,"
she prayed,
"but deliver
us some E-mail.
Amen."
and one particular four-year-old prayed,
"And
forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are
sleeping."
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out
loud in church. " "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men
standing by the door?
They're hushers."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his
younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children when the four- year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God
throw him back down?"
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on
earth did I invite all
these people to dinner?"
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